Are you driven by desire or need?

As you start the new year, you can press the reset button on your habits and priorities. Many will be making resolutions to improve some aspects of our life. This article summarises the top ten resolutions and provides practical guidance on how to stick to them.

Before you decide on a resolution you need to understand why this is the right time and this requires you to understand your motivation. You can group them into things driven by basic needs such as survival. Fresh air, water, food, shelter, protection and health are examples of the basic needs. Don’t confuse these with the desires that emerge once the basic needs are satisfied. Knowing that you may not continue to live or will experience severe pain is a very powerful motivator. Creating a similar level of motivation for desires can require a lot more effort, and focus.

So this year before you decide on your new year resolutions ask yourself what kind of resolution it is and why you want to succeed. Being honest with yourself and adapting your approach with this insight is vital for success.

What are your resolutions for this year and how are you going to ensure success this year? Do you have an approach that has worked and will help or motivate others?

What is the essence of love?

I have heard the phrase “I love working here” many times over the last few weeks which is wonderful and very uplifting. It got me thinking about the love in a number of contexts and the language that underpins this. Love exists between two people, between a group of people, with an activity or with an object. For each of these there seem to be four common aspects which are fascinating.

Firstly there is an emotional connection that allows the experience to be memorable. These experiences are often shared in stories.

Secondly there is a shared value that is at the core of the love. For an organisation that might be the purpose or the societal outcomes that are created.

The third aspect is for everyone involved it feels obvious and can be difficult to explain. The experience is one where time flies by and you can enter a state of flow.

The final aspect is that you can leave all your other worries or concerns and lose yourself in the experience. The mutual trust and support allows you to be your best and reach a level of performance that you did not think was possible.

So love is where you Loose yourself in Obvious activities that you Value and create Experiences that you want to tell everyone about. That seems to be the essence of love. What are your thoughts? Does this resonate?

How do you prepare for a new role?

I started a new adventure this week in the role of Group CEO – BCS (British Computer Society, Chartered Institute of IT Professionals). I had used the time since it was announced and now to understand what this adventure might entail. I kept the reminding myself there is a big difference between looking at a garment on a website, through a shop window, feeling it in the store and trying it on. Looking at the garment being worn by a model, along with the perfect surrounding will create an almost perfect impression. Looking at it through the window with the carefully positioned lighting the garment it may still look ideal however some false impressions might get corrected. When you pick up the garment you will feel the type of cloth, the quality of the workmanship and so on. You might still think this is the garment you should buy. Only when you put it on and look at yourself in the mirror will you be sure it is the right garment.

In a similar manner, when you start a new job, you will have formed an opinion about what you will need to do in the role. The first few weeks (at least 30 days) should be devoted to listening so as to understand the reality of your responsibility. Listen to those in your team, adjacent teams, superiors, those you hope to lead, customers, suppliers, partners and anyone you may come into contact with in the role. The wider you throw the net the more you will understand and you will be prepared for what is to come. Look for the weak signals of trouble ahead, also find the connections between the different signals you have heard. From this understanding, develop the hypotheses of what you need to do in the role. In the next phase define the outcomes you plan to achieve in a few weeks/months, the next year and into the future. This idea of now, next and future is helpful is structuring or prioritising your ideas. Again this typically takes 30 days. In the next 30 days you need to focus on delivering something substantial to gain trust of colleagues or those you work with/for. The first deliverable is critical as it establishes your reputation and must provide the foundation for what you plan to accomplish.

Whilst I can spend many blog posts talking about each of these stages, I think it is most important to remember that any change of role provides a fresh beginning. An opportunity to learn from the past and progress towards realising your own ambitions. I certainly looking forward to my next adventure and will be following this kind of 30/60/90 plan. How do you prepare for a new role? What is your first 90 day plan? What advise would you give someone like me starting a new adventure?

Are you ready to make that life changing decision?

The number of social media posts announcing changes in career and retirement has increased over the past few weeks. Many of my mentoring discussions have also been about making life-changing decisions. Balancing the fear of the unknown with the euphoria of the opportunity may sound simple however requires careful consideration. Where did you start?

The first step is to understand your current responsibilities and the positive aspects of your current situation. Just writing this as a list is helpful but not enough. Your ambitions, motivations and expectations from the changes need to be clear. This must include the financial goals, relationship changes and lifestyle elements. This list quickly becomes too complex and unwieldy to be useful. So you need to discuss your thoughts with a few people you trust before developing a decision matrix. The decision matrix needs to document the things you want to preserve and a prioritised set of things you want to change. Use this matrix to both brainstorm options and assess opportunities. We are all on a never-ending voyage of self-discovery. Use every opportunity to make progress in this journey.

Creating a decision matrix helps you select a path forward that feels right. It keeps you motivated and will provide a constant reminder of why you chose this path. When things don’t go quite as planned you can use the decision matrix to renew your motivation and reinstil the confidence you need to make progress. The pandemic has got everyone rethinking their current lifestyle and what they want for the future. The opportunities are abundant and this is a good time to make significant changes that can give you the sense of fulfilment and contentment that makes life worthwhile.

Have you or are you making life-changing decisions? What advice would you give others? Can you share experiences of making a life-changing decision in the past?

Is your future becoming clearer?

The end of the year is a good time to reflect on the ups and downs. How many of your hopes were realised and what did you learn about yourself. Some of your unfulfilled hopes may stay on the wish list as they are important. Others may be removed. Some may be replaced by new hopes. The things that did not go as you expected to provide the most valuable learning in uncovering what you could have done differently. It is all too easy to look for who or what to blame and you need to resist this urge. Instead, look for the signals that you could have spotted or priorities you could have changed.

I was reminded this week about being true to myself. It is all too easy to follow the dreams and ambitions of others. The lure of following someone else’s footsteps or making incorrect assumptions of their reality can give you the impetus to start on their journey. This bubble of excitement will soon burst to leave you unhappy and disappointed. Take time to be true to yourself by reflecting on your capabilities and ambitions. This means being careful to find the sweet spot that is neither too unrealistic nor so familiar it becomes boring.

Thinking of every day as a “rehearsal” for tomorrow establishes a mindset of continually looking for where improvement can be very effective. However, be careful to avoid falling into the trap of thinking you are not good enough and a “failure”. Look for the many things you did well and only one or two things you could improve in the future. In this way, every day is an opportunity for progress filled with feeling of gratitude.

How do you reflect on the year and prepare for the next year? How is your future becoming clearer?

If you are interested in writing or collaborating on a Sunday Sprinkle please do not hestitate to contact me…

When should you just go with the flow?

There are always things that could do better and we all have to choose what we want to change. This is a difficult decision as we may feel we do not have the ability or resources to make the changes. At moments like this, I remind myself of what Mahatma Gandhi was able to achieve through highlighting the injustice he observed and deciding to go on hunger strike. We will never understand what we can change unless we try. It starts with the courage to decide not to go with the flow.

The real issue is that few have spent time to understand what really matters to them and why. Without this understanding, you will be unable to decide where you will have the courage and resolve to start the change process. You will also know what you can accept and choose not to say or do anything. It only takes a change in two letters to go from could to should. However, this is a massive decision that we are making all the time in choosing our actions.

You need an understanding of who you are and why you do what you do. It is then much simpler to just go with the flow. Accept what comes in your life and see everything through the lens of gratitude. This makes going with the flow much more rewarding and enjoyable. The awe and wonder that it sparks will ignite your curiosity. It helps you on the journey to find your purpose and choose where you will do going with the flow.

How do you choose the things you want to change? How can you help play your part in making the world a better place for someone?